The journey of fatherhood is a unique one. It’s special bond between that lasts a lifetime. It’s also one that looks so different with each child you have. There’s no way around that fact. Circumstances are different each time one is born.
Of course both Marcus Aurelius and Heracles both agree, you never step in the same river twice. Which what makes each child so special to us.
It’s thought that bond that our young ones learn how to navigate and get an idea of what to expect out of the world. This is why the those footprints we impress upon them are so important.
Of all the wisdom the last three years of my journey has taught me that is the most important peace. Being a father for times who allowed himself to make so mistakes along the way. It wasn’t until I peeled back the all of my own masks, and traumas to reach back and change my behavior, while also digging into correct those mistakes. That I truly understood that.
Its both the watching of and reflecting upon the past year of these works that has brought me to the point of championing this sort of cause.
As I have talked so much about about that redeeming return journey in hopes that others will take up and commit to same work. Of offering a space to heal and accept those little one back into their life they left behind.
The reason isn’t because of the personal feeling you get when your with them however. Even though it’s truly the greatest feeling to have them back in your life. It’s for these children that hold quietly a hole inside of them. While wishing it could be filed.
For me the reason for my absence was my mental health. It was the reason behind the countless other mistakes of my journey. For you the list of reasons maybe any number of things. As I learned just like you will, none of those reasons even matter in the end. All they truly want is you.
I really hope that last sentence comes across as clear and simple as it was written. Because no matter how unsure they appear when they meet you. The truth is that deep down inside all they have longing for is you. Just to simply have you in their life.
Looking back at the opportunity to give myself back, and it was just that. An opportunity for me because I gave my daughter the option. Which was the right thing to do at age I caught up with her at.
Now I’m sitting here on my second Father’s Day with her in my life. It as been such a blessing to watch her grow. Not just in life but also into a space where she has her father in her life. As proven to the most amazing experience. To be completely honest it’s been beyond my wildest dreams.
Watching the relieve in her eyes when I told her none of the reason I had not been there was her fault. To know the silly smiles and open joy when I pick her up for our time together. A process that has been such worthy investment. One that still gives me goosebumps.
That is not to say it’s not been a labor of love that came with it challenges or even fears. As I’m sitting here writing listening to her laughter each peace of the puzzle was the climb. For her because just every child that is born they are worth the hurdles we have to climb.
See being absent has taught them something that can’t be untaught. However in returning we teach something new. They get to learn that they are worthy of being loved and cared
While it’s very difficult to humble. It’s even harder to look them in eye and admit you made the ultimate mistake. In doing so you will change their lives forever. I share this because it’s only you that holds that type of power.
So put today to uses. Make the day that we celebrate the teaching of a father to a child the day. The very day you begin to teach the something new.
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