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Aloneness is much different than being on your own

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As I navigate through the world there’s this common statement I hear a lot, “I just want to be happy.” Which that statement all to often comes with this long list of terms and conditions. Most of the time it’s projected a blanket statement, that involves the act of finding someone to inject happiness into their life’s.

I feel that’s like this mission statement that we all carry. I mean, I’ve been guilty of projecting that same mission statement. The one where I could be only be happy if this and this happened.

Which is a difficult space to find yourself. You end up just throwing dirt at the wall trying to see what sticks, and where it lands. All the while sinking a little bit lower into despair, or willing to latch on to whatever comes around.

Neither of which hold much promise of a healthy or stable long term outcome. Still find ourselves just drifting along the path following a mission, or term that we don’t know what it truly looks like. All because we think we know, but we really may not know. Or simply because holding hope someone will do the work for us.

Of course we tell ourselves that if someone comes along and fills in the gap, we will put in our share of the work too, but only then.

Now here lays the question, why can’t we do the work without someone coming to the rescue? Why do we need to waste another moment of time waiting around? Answer, because we expect things happen on our terms, plus that kind of work is hard.

It’s some of the most challenging work we can do, to face up to and mend the pains we carry. Not to mention it can be a lonely space to sit in. When everywhere you look you see the people embrace what you long to have. They look happy. However are they truly? Or are they in state of “I buried myself in what came to my doorstep when I was available?”

When you look around and thats all you see the door of self loathing and that comes with it flairs up right. Or when you going about your daily routine thinking it’d just be easier if someone else was their to do this for you, those same feelings come up.

Here the time you can turn inward, here is the time to be friend yourself. Because while all that other stuff is well and good, no where you place yourself is going to define you, or your happiness.

That all comes from within yourself. If this message is strumming the same cords within you that it hit within me for so long. Then now is your moment. Your moment to capture yourself. Because after all, you have to be whole, knowing, and accepting of yourself. Before you can make adding to life worth while.

A sound steward of one’s self must learn that, to add anything to the environment around them is to do just that add to, and enrich their surroundings. You don’t plant a single tree and expect a forest full of deer to pop up over night.

Instead once a tree is planted where you decided that forest will be. Then you tend to it, and you another, then another, and so on. Until over time you come to know that parasol of land, like it’s the back of your hand. All the while adding tree after tree. Once that area as matured the deer will come in, finding it holds the things they need. This creating a whole and strong environment.

What if I said you are that single tree, freshly planted in a newly designated Parcel of land? Where your goal is to find happiness. Because the fact of the matter is, this no matter where you standing at this moment is a fact.

It’s up to you what you do with it. No one can tell you how to go about it. Yet there are resources out there that can inspire you. Along with those resources comes plenty of food for thought as well.

While some of those ideas may sound so touché like your never truly alone, because you have yourself. Yet, there is truth to that statement. When step back and you invite yourself to become your own best friend.

By taking the time to learn the things you enjoy, and doing them. Is the best place to start. If it’s been so long that you don’t even know what those things are, then try something new. One good place to begin, is to just start simple, build a habit of taking a walk. By doing so you’ll begin to get the blood flowing and start building up intrigue to try other things.

Don’t be scared of this stage, just understand it’s a process. One which you are in control of, and will be grateful you endured it, and get out into the outdoors. Because that’s where the adventure and yourself lays.


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