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Mental sparing meets opportunity

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity” – Seneca

Thru out my travels there’s been one aspect of life I’ve found myself really wrestling with. After approaching this subject from every angle it’s something that still seems to remain an idea that is difficult to understand. Just how someone can allow themselves to become such a slave to their own negative self talk. That they allow that voice to remove themself from places they should not be removed from. Then once they tame that voice they could be welcomed back into that space they slipped away from.

Over the course of this journey that is one of the hardest questions that I’ve have been faced with. The fact that I have indeed been a slave to that negative voice. In many ways I spent any years not only serving it, but also seeking out anything that was able to give that voice more power. While being completely blind to the effects it had on the world around me. There was so much energy and effort wasted sacrificing the most rewarding aspects of life. Simply because those positive thing discredited the self image that I carried.

Once my objectives started to shape I knew I had a lot of self work to do before I place any steps on the ground to begin walking that way. Because this goal was set with the knowledge that it was a one chance action. I had the vision of an old key stone being placed at the center of an arch. Even tho I didn’t have a clue what the out come would look like. I knew when the timing was right for action it would be one that I could never take back. Even if those foot steps were to lead to a fire that engulfed me I would have to remain those burnt ashes until the end of my days.

The time I spent in that mental training ground was some of the hardest sparing I can recall ever doing. Yet all of those hours, days, and months served me well as I learned to take myself back from the grip of that voice I was serving. Over the course of prepping myself for the day I would be able to act I knew I would be ready to stand and hold myself steady for the long haul.

However nothing could had prepared me for what I was met with. To not walk into an engulfing fire. Instead to find some positive energy and a chance to continue to work towards my goal. In the light of finding a scenario that crushed any words that I’ve been fed by my own negative voice I’m left with more questions than answers. Had all that sparing been in the wrong way? How could an out come be so much different that I had for seen? Am I wrong for having expected a fire upon which I would be burnt? Even in the face of so many unexpected questions I still find my feet are firmly latched in my objective. Not only is there this firm footing behind in which I stand but there is this untapped happiness in my stance.

Sure to be met with a complete opposite response to your actions than your expecting is scary. Not to mention the countless hard questions it razes, or the way it will make you step back and take a look at yourself. Words can not capture the other side of the feelings and thoughts you’ll experience. All of which will humble a person faster in less than your heart can beat. While making one grateful beyond words your actions will encompass all of those things and just come natural.

If there is anything hanging on your shoulders or in your heart never let fear or self talk take away the opportunity to resolve them. Wether you have made the mistake of withdrawing yet or not. You are still in control of how you respond to those words in your head. All it takes is time and careful planing and you can rewrite that narrative your stuck in.

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